Sometimes writing posts for the internet audience is scary.
Well when we scribble away on these electronic boards, actually a lot of the "me”, a lot of autobiographical thoughts, private considerations, you know, your own feelings, positive or negative get inscribed or read. It's as if you have laid bare a part of your life and I feel a bit uneasy about it.
(All the time, gotta be careful so I don't reveal enough info for a knife-wielding Jacko look-alike to…….. ahhhh…… just the thought of it scares me shivers)
Then don't write posts, you may say!
Well I write cause I feel innately impelled to do so. So here I am, caught in between. It's not like I am very private hermetic person to start with.
Being a teacher, my life is already as public as it can get. I have to follow norms (at least in public) that would seem like a straight-jacket to some. Compounded that with being a teacher in a conservative society I really don't get to say my true feelings or shout or swear like a pirate as I would like to.
On the other hand, I do, at times write rubbish as I am doing "write" now! And try to disguise my real self and write being in someone else's shoes. But that is difficult! Have you ever tried to be someone else?
Actors sure do and most of them go loony or were loony in the first place or are in the process of becoming loony.
How do you extract yourself from a body and mind and plunk it into another entity (which really does not exist)?
And I certainly don't want to be loony without their pay packet to ease the pain
Therefore, I shall continue to write as I have in a semi-autobiographical way and try not to expose too much of myself (really, sometimes it feels like I am doing a striptease in front of million jeering people!) but at the same time, try to do some wretched existence-switching and with the twain, entertain, comfort, incense and bore to death an internet audience.
By Soe Lwin (BEST Language School, Mandalay)
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